It’s the most wonderful time of the year…and it ain’t Christmas (it may be for Neymar)! A wildly important date (for Brazilian socialites) that calls for significant festivities is coming up! Neymar’s sister Rafaella will be celebrating her birthday on March 11th!
And that can only mean one thing…you guessed it! It’s time for Neymar’s annual sabbatical to go hang out with his sister instead of play soccer like he’s supposed to! From 2016 to 2019 for four consecutive years he managed to get out of competing for his club to go spend quality time with Rafaella (you can’t make this up). From racking up yellow cards in order to get suspended during his time at Barcelona, to now conveniently getting injured during her birthday season (birthday seasons should be a thing) with PSG, as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, it has happened once more (last year he didn’t skip, likely in an attempt to throw people off)…The man has gone down with what has been labeled as a tear in his adductor (groin area) and will be out for a timeframe that is curiously bookended by March 10th (one day before his sister’s birthday). I don’t know who’s paying the medical staff or giving Neymar acting lessons (he should be teaching them at this point) but he has managed to get out of his footballing duties at the perfect time once again (opportune moment)! At this point I’m waiting for Julian Assange (WikiLeaks dude) to have as much of a vendetta against Neymar as he did against Hilary Clinton! I would love to see the subsequent details of his contract leak (with a Rafaella birthday clause included).
Oh the ridiculousness of the world that we live in. If Neymar’s contract was exposed, if anything it could give the unwoke a lesson about how random human beings are and how the most entitled people get to enjoy luxuries commoners can only dream of (double standard). Given the blockchain tech world we find ourselves in, it would be fascinating to see how decentralization updates how contracts are executed. But I digress…what really should be addressed is why everyone is seemingly ok with the real life Game of Thrones love affair unfolding in front of our very eyes.
In other news (more competitive leagues) Liverpool’s injuries have finally caught up to them, and Jurgen Klopp has…conceded the title?!
First off this reporter was a douche for even putting poor Jurgen on the spot after getting bullied by the Cityzens; but honestly I don’t know why Klopp already conceded the title. It’s the fucking Premiere League, anything could happen as this year has already shown (Aston Villa 7 – Liverpool 2 anyone?)! Liverpool management should have Klopp start watching American baseball highlights from the 70’s and get a pep talk from Yogi Berra (if he were still alive) because it ain’t over till it’s over! There is a good stretch of fixtures for teams to go on a run with 14 more matches to be played by all teams…and honestly, how is this kind of talk at all motivating for a highly competitive team that has achieved unprecedented success over the past few years winning the Champions League (2019) and the Premiere League (2020)…kind of impressive.
Thus far my posts have been dominated by the Premiere League (too much material) to the point that I realize I have neglected the other goings on in the world of soccer (there is much more to soccer than the Premiere League). Furthermore it is time to get out of my comfort zone and check in on the league that first got me to pay attention to professional soccer in the first place…La Liga!
After doing a fly over to get a bird’s eye view of the La Liga situation, this league may rival even the Premiere League when it comes to drama! The first place we must start is Real Madrid, and good lord there is hella drama in the capital! Zidane has carried on the timeless tradition of Real Madrid (ruining world class talent) admirably; James, then Bale, and now Isco!
A player that was once integral to the squad (in stretches) and proved pivotal in the unpreceded back to back to back (3 in a row) Champions League runs now does little more than warm the bench (if he even makes the squad). And who is to blame? You guessed right, it’s the luckiest coach ever to hold the title of manager for the Royal Whites *drumroll please* Zinedine Zidane (headbutt enthusiast)! Though things are going ok now, this man should have lost his job on many occasions (mediocre/inconsistent performances), and the falling out with Isco is the latest twist to the inevitable drama that perpetually enshrouds the Santiago Bernabéu. I would put just as much money as I am putting on Neymar shirking his club duties to make it back to São Paulo for his sister’s birthday (a lot) on Isco finding a new club this summer (Zidane may have actually wised up, Isco has always been a streaky spaz IMO).
Man that Messi drama was (is) something. The love affair that was Leo Carlos Barcelona (Vicky Cristina Barcelona knock off) has turned into a telenovela with no happy ending in sight. History shows that this dude (Messi that is) gets in his feelings and is a sore loser. He has retired and unretired from international duty (after the Copa America loss in 2016) and then again “took time away” from the Albiceleste after the disappointing round of 16 exit in the 2018 World Cup. It seems that Messi is a bit of a brat and is unable to take losing in stride.
Knowing this, I suppose it was only a matter of time before he would fall out with his beloved Barcelona (no one can win forever). Things came to a head while the world was falling apart last summer, and due to Barcelona’s poor form in La Liga and the Champions League, Messi decided it was go time and wanted to exercise his Messi clause that let’s him leave the club for free if he communicates his desire by June 10, 2020. Messi submitted his transfer request through fax (cutting edge 21st century technology) and the board rejected his motion to leave for free. Messi did not take kindly to this but neglected to go to court with Barcelona over his ability to leave the club due to his longstanding love for the club (respectable). If you do a deeper dive I don’t think he would have won since he had to communicate his intention to leave the club by June 10, 2020 (which he didn’t). But given that the pandemic threw things off, he had a case as fixtures were postponed blah blah blah (there’s a reason I’m not in law school). Either way he did not leave, he stayed with Barcelona. Amidst the uncertainty of their talisman, they are on a run of good form winning their last 5 matches and Antoine Griezmann (Sonic the Hedgehog) seems to have come into his own and become the influential player they believed they were signing; pitching in with 7 goals and 5 assists since the turn of the year. Although there are glimmers of hope they still let one of the best goal scorers of all time (Luis Suarez) leave for free to La Liga rivals Atletico Madrid (more excellent business by Barcelona) at the start of the season. He has not missed a beat, the man is currently in the top spot for the Pichichi with 16 goals (1 more than Leo) and his Atletico Madrid sit at the top of La Liga as well…
And finally…I’m sitting in the less than respectable but not entirely embarrassing position of 8th out of 27th in the Chop Your Money Fantasy league. Thanks to the orchestrators of Premiere League fixtures, I don’t know when the big double gameweek fixture will take place (a little bird told me it was GW26) or who will be involved. So I do not know how to prepare! Got to get crazy in these times if I want any chance of getting back to the summit.
The roaring 2020’s are in full swing and I cannot help but wonder what drama is around the corner! Enjoy the matches this weekend and stay tuned for more Favela Zoneheads!
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