Messi the Immortal
Holiday Greetings one and all Favelazoneheads…there has been much ado about a lot of things (sorry Shakespeare) in the world of soccer. Like damn – from Ronaldo and Messi not only remaining relevant but leading statistical categories in major competitions after decades is surprising but not out of the realm of possibility. Soccer greats of a time gone by (aka the twentieth century) not only continued playing but dominated well past what is widely considered most professional athletes’ prime age range of mid to late twenties (Di Stefano calling it quits at 40, Pele at 36, Stanley Matthews at 50!!). Ok well this SHOULD (never say never) be the last time either Ronaldo or Messi win the Ballon d’Or (Matthews won aged 41). Now that they are both playing in their respective retirement leagues (Messi in the MLS and Ronny in the Saudi Pro League) it begs the question as to why someone with billions of dollars did not broker a move for the both of them to play on the same team. It would have been soooo easy and there were plenty of opportunities (PSG especially, Ronaldo never should have returned to Manchester United let alone the EPL) but apparently the people in charge were averse to making money and fulfilling any soccer fan’s dream.
Anyway…to entertain the latest drama. After Messi won the Ballon d’Or…I would argue deservedly so given it is lest people forget an individual award for the best player of the past season (no longer calendar year). If this was purely an award that reflected individual performances (excluding team trophies) Messi should always be the winner when healthy (Reference WhoScored.com, especially when you look beyond goals and assists). The award and the criteria that decides who should win will always be subject to debate. Nevertheless, there are plenty of amazing players that don’t get recognized because their teams can’t win trophies (Harry Kane at Spurs) or because they play in a position deemed lesser (Casemiro DM while at Real Madrid). There are most definitely subjective elements at play when the votes are cast. To entertain an interesting scenario, had Julian Alvarez been a starter for Manchester City all of last season, he likely would have played an important role in his Premiere League team winning the treble while also playing a pivotal role in Argentina winning the World Cup. Wouldn’t that make him a shoe in to win the most coveted individual award in soccer considering all he accomplished? Or would the individual statistics simply not be enough as he would be in the shadow of other great players at Manchester City (De Bruyne, Halaand, etc.) and Argentina (Messi and Emiliano Martinez)?
Given that the World Cup was Played in 2022 it fell into the timeframe of what is considered “last season”. In addition, reflecting on the World Cup it is ironic that there are all these calls to end racism in football when the stadiums and necessary construction projects were built on the backs of underpaid laborers. Not only were the migrant workers inadequately compensated, the conditions were so brutal that 6,750 of them, hailing primarily from South Asia, died due to acute heart or respiratory failure in the sweltering heat. Although it was reported by the Qatari’s that these were “natural deaths” I feel like most healthcare professionals would agree that this amount of fatalities for those working on construction projects would be ludicrous if proper protocols were met. No players were taking a knee in the stand against racism when it came time to play. Yes, this is a dated comment, but since we were discussing the Ballon d’Or and the primary reason Messi defeated Erling Halaand, this was worth bringing up. People with influence and a platform – do better.
Selective Memories
With the World Cup typically being a summer competition but this time being played in winter it reminds me of another confusing timeline. The smash hit “Havana” by none other than Camila Cabello was released in October of 2017 yet served as the Grammy awards opening performance in 2019 (Don’t have to be horologist to tell that timeline’s off). And I get it, the Grammys are held in the beginning part of the year, so it’s not like you can expect the academy to only feature songs from the first few weeks. This, however, seems…illogical…unless that’s right you guessed it (probably not) – they could not have Luis Fonsi’s one hit wonder “despacito”, a song that essentially serves as a tutorial on the proper way to make love to a woman (slowly [initially anyway]), be overshadowed by a much better song released in the same year. I have to hand it to the group that came together to produce “Havana”. Pharrell Williams (musician extraordinaire) directed the unlikely duo of Camila Cabello (former fifth harmony stand out) and Young Thug (Gen Z’s Lil Wayne) to create a timeless classic.
Since this time Camila Cabello has found herself unable to follow up with another song nearly as successful (or good), but she did find the time to team up with another criminal, Da Baby (Walmart vigilante) to create the derivative “My Oh My”. This more recent attempt takes the mood setting line “My papa says he’s got malo (Spanish word for bad) in him” from “Havana” and recycles it as the much less original “My momma doesn’t trust him”. See above, Exhibit A on the left shows Young Thug in the Havana music video and Exhibit B on the right shows the recreation of the scene for Post Malone’s song “Goodbyes”. Turns out it wasn’t just Camila attempting to replicate the success of the song “Havana” and accompanying entertaining music video.
Shame on these labels playing it safe. Art is all about taking risks and Camila’s other major push to provide a mainstream hit in the industry with “Bam Bam” featured the antithesis of tropical vibes Ed Sheeran (he also jumped on the remix of Fireboy DML’s global phenomenon “Peru” to confusing effect) was random at best (the reasons aren’t hard to see though..$$$). Either way I most definitely remain a fan of the Cuban born Cabello (and Ana De Armas) but things need to get shaken up from time to time in order for authentic art to emerge and entertain the masses (this is where I *like to think* come in ).
Since then, things have fared even worse for Young Thug. Unless the double standard of the law turns a blind eye to the ridiculous amount of evidence that has been stacked against him (if 69 could get out of that legal mess anybody can), he will be staring at a prison cell for a long, long, time (lots of time to write at least) thanks to his role as “General” of Young Slime Life (Atlanta gang that also makes good music) for the past decade.
Some People
It may still be relatively early in the season, but we have a prime contender for the Golden Donkey (New Premiere League award for biggest clown). This man Nicolas Jackson has clearly not been taught proper sporting etiquette. If you manage to score a goal in a professional soccer match, it is most definitely a reason to celebrate. As a professional athlete you have worked hard your whole life. You have sacrificed, overcome challenges, naysayers (“that’s never gonna happen”) and it is absolutely justified not just for yourself but necessary to give the crowd some entertainment. Good on you to put on a show after scoring (most important part of soccer)! However, as many of us are taught at a young age, there is a time and place for everything. Nicolas Jackson was clearly never taught this lesson. If you are playing against a team that is down two men I am going to go ahead and say you should not be making a show of things when it comes to celebrating scoring. I would think that it is common sense for when it is 11 vs 9 if you score you maybe high five some teammates and walk back to the halfway line. Instead the featured ass of the hour decided to channel his inner Cristiano (he’s not far off either for celebrating scoring penalties by going Super Saiyan). This man Nicolas Jackson has proven that he has spent a lot of time in front of the mirror practicing given the off chance that he scores in a professional game. This bully of a footballer looks like a complete joker and I for one hope that Christopher Nkunku comes back to play as a forward or Armando Borja regains full fitness and they put this jackass in the barn, stable or paddock (take your pick) out of sight where he belongs.
What Happened Here
In other news the international break has come to a close (thank God). We have seen that having world class talents such as Erling Halaand and Martin Odegaard are not enough to carry a full team as Norway has failed to qualify for Euro 2024. Norway need to remain hopeful because things can come together if you give them time. A prime example would be that of Portugal; a team that was far from a feared squad ten years ago. With the leaders still quite young Halaand (23) and Odegaard (24), there is still plenty of time for Norway to evolve and in the coming years qualify for their first significant international tournament since the Euros in 2000.
Romelu Lukaku, the most confusing striker of this generation (wack at Chelsea, decent at Man United, and excellent for Everton/Inter/Belgium) at 30 years old stands as the third most successful goal scorer in Europe only behind Cristiano Ronaldo (128 goals in 205 games) and Ferenc Puskás (84 goals in 89 games) after scoring not one, not two, not just three, but FOUR well taken goals in the first half against Azerbaijan to take his tally to 83 goals in 113 games. Records were meant to be broken and unless Ronaldo finds it in him to continue playing for five more years at the international level (would not put it past him) Lukaku seems to have a fair shout at surpassing him in the coming years.
The other big story that unfolded during the international break was Messi losing control of his emotions. Given how successful he has been in life (especially recently) he has many things to be happy about (or maybe Miami is making him wish he was single and he is expressing his frustration out on the pitch). No matter how you spin it, this man is wiling out. Out of character, the usual cool headed troll of a man has lost his mind and just in time for the holidays! I had to check in on what exactly went down to rile up the Argentine wonder and it seems he was defending his homie De Paul from being bullied by Olivera. Messi saw fit to take action by grabbing the Uruguayan’s neck (sounds like a booking to me?) and shove him away. In Argentina’s other fixture against Brazil, Rodrygo (smooth Madridista) was calling Messi and his fellow Argentines cowards for going into the tunnel while chaos erupted in the stands between the fans. It’s always a hotly contested fixture between Brazil and Argentina and this was no different (except this time there was a little more police brutality). Thankfully club competition has returned so everyone can calm down, drink some cider, and enjoy the run of fixtures during the festive period.
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