Greetings Favelazoneheads. We back again! Tell a friend! It really would be in my best interest to not spread myself so thin with my projects. In the words of Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall Street himself, he learned that ambition is good – not greed. I am not greedy in the sense of attempting to attain material wealth (although I should be), but greedy in my desire to fulfill my creative pursuits. I must limit these undertakings if I am to succeed in life. A word to the wise – take stock of your reality, center yourself, and chip away at your goals while simultaneously enjoying your everyday life. It is the year of the dragon people! This is as auspicious a year as they come! Get excited! Although I have been distracted from blog writing – it has not stopped me from watching soccer (unparalleled work ethic).
Africa Unite
Time to check in on the latest going-ons in the dynamic world of soccer. AFCON 2023 came to a close with the Ivory Coast claiming the top prize. Although the Ivory Coast has pedigree in the tournament (victories in 1992 and 2015) the road to this final has proven the most daunting to date. With their talisman Sebastien Haller returning to playing after overcoming a battle with testicular cancer a year ago – this was destined to be an emotional affair. Adding to the drama, head coach Jean-Louis Gasset was fired after getting embarrassed on their home turf by Equatorial Guinea with a score of 4-0 (fun fact Equatorial Guinea is the only country in Africa whose official language is Spanish). To even make it out of the group stages, the Ivorians relied on Mozambique’s 94th minute equalizer against Ghana in order to advance to the knock out rounds. They then had to defeat AFCON 2021 champions Senegal on penalties in the round of 16. Next they barely scraped past Mali with ten men by scoring an equalizer in the ninetieth minute and winner on the stroke of the one hundred twentieth minute in extra time courtesy of super subs Simon Adingra and Oumar Diakité to advance to the semifinals. This truly was an AFCON for the ages (actually sounding more similar to the trials of Hercules than a soccer tournament)!
We do not need anymore superhero movies people. Hollywood – I implore you to direct your attention to this incredible story! This most recent tournament is noteworthy as it has brought awareness to countries that have long been overlooked in the world of soccer including Cape Verde and Guinea who advanced to the quarterfinals (snaps all around)! It still amazes me how the birthplace of humanity is generally unknown to most people (Recently saw a TikTok where ten people could not name three countries in Africa). In addition, the beautiful game is opening doors that were previously closed (2 billion cumulative viewers of AFCON 2023 vs 65 million of AFCON 2021). For those of you who have forgotten the percentage change formula from math class, look no further, I have got you. That is an astounding 2,976.92% increase in viewership from the previous AFCON two years ago!
The monumental change can be chalked up to the increased coverage by journalists (6,000 applied for media accreditation) and the influence of global streaming. I am happy that I can rant about something positive for once with the latest viewing of AFCON 2023 signaling that society is trending towards equality. I for one am pleased that the age of information is doing more than depressing people with social media. It is always interesting how the universe seems to come together in an effort to level the playing field where inequality runs rampant (Waka Waka this time for Africa!). On the subject of Africa – some islands off its southeastern coast are great places to visit, enjoy music, and also manage to produce really funny movies.
I was lucky enough to stumble upon the French language film Sentinelle and it proved to be funny as hell – I highly recommend it! Set in the tropical and lively French territory of Réunion this goofy cop movie will brighten anyone’s day. For those of you who don’t speak French (likely most people reading this) throw this comedic masterpiece on Amazon Prime (keep the original French audio but throw on subtitles if needed). This is a throwback to the goofy laughs of Naked Gun and Zoolander. Amusez-vous bien!
The Horror!
In other news, Ronaldo can’t seem to stay out of trouble. The man who is pushing forty has managed to maintain a six pack for the better part of his adult life yet has not been able to grow beyond the mental maturity of an eleven year old. Like come on dude, of all people in the world, a role model (but are you…?) should be conducting yourself with better etiquette. From grabbing your crotch, rubbing an opposing team’s (Al-Hilal to be exact) scarf on your private parts, and throwing it back to the fans, to now doing a highly questionable pumping motion with your hand close to your groin towards the Al Shabab fans in retaliation to them chanting “Messi” (Opposing players take notes for how to get in this man’s head). Well he got what was coming to him – the man has been suspended for one match by the Saudis as a result of this obscene gesture.
Now time for something everybody saw coming. No matter how well they (Halaand and De Bruyne that is) may be playing now, these two clowns could have jumped into action a few weeks earlier during Double Gameweek 25. I, like most everyone else in fantasy triple captained Erling Halaand. I mean come on, it was almost impossible to not do. Two home fixtures against Chelsea (defense injured/questionable and Brentford having a far from formidable defense conceding 50 goals to date in the Prem). But of course when the triple captain was in play, Halaand decides to only score 1 goal against Brentford. To say that this man has been frustrating this season would be an understatement and at a price of £14.5 consistently larger hauls are to be expected.
Prodigious Talent in Spain
Jude Bellingham has been nothing short of unreal at Real Madrid in his debutant season. The man not only looks well beyond the youthful age of 20, but also carries himself with the maturity of a man ten years his senior. Aside from some disciplinary hiccups (referring to Mason Greenwood in an unflattering manner and yelling at the ref for ending the match against Valencia mid attack robbing him of the match winning goal) he has been, dare I say, the most dominant all around force in La Liga since Leo and Cristiano? Bellingham has become the highest scoring Madridista in their first 15 games with a return of 14 goals, surpassing CR7’s record. Belligoal has become the highest scoring midfielder in a season for Real Madrid in the 21st century with 16 goals (thus far – truly staggering!).
We are officially living in the Future!
Finally, with AI taking over most every industry and the ability for content to be generated out of seemingly thin air, it would seem that the professions of writers and bloggers have come under threat (say it ain’t so!). Coming from a place of paranoia, I decided to challenge AI to come up with a blog post similar to mine. Now, drum roll please, get your popcorn out and take a gander at what the computers have come up with below.
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Prompt for AI
Please write a soccer blog post covering AFCON 2023, Cristiano Ronaldo, the Premiere League, and Jude Bellingham. Include Statistics and also reference pop culture.
Tone: Funny
And We Back (AI Generated Blog Post)
Ah, the beautiful game is back again, and it’s as thrilling as ever! Let’s dive into the world of soccer, where AFCON 2023 is set to dazzle us with its display of talent and passion.
First up, let’s talk about Cristiano Ronaldo – the ageless wonder of football. With his fancy footwork and iconic goal celebrations, he continues to amaze fans worldwide. Whether he’s playing for Manchester United or representing his national team, Ronaldo always brings excitement to the pitch.
Speaking of teams, the Premiere League never fails to entertain us with its fierce competition and nail-biting matches. From last-minute goals to unexpected upsets, this league keeps us on the edge of our seats week after week.
Now, let’s shift our focus to Jude Bellingham – a rising star in the world of soccer. His speed, skill, and determination make him a force to be reckoned with on the field. Keep an eye on this young talent as he continues to make waves in the sport.
In terms of statistics, AFCON 2023 promises to deliver some jaw-dropping numbers and unforgettable moments. Goals scored, assists made, saves by goalkeepers – each match is a spectacle waiting to unfold.
And hey, let’s not forget about pop culture! Just like a catchy tune that gets stuck in your head, soccer has a way of capturing our hearts and minds. From iconic celebrations that become viral memes to players becoming fashion icons off the field – soccer truly transcends sports and becomes a cultural phenomenon.
So lace up your boots (or just grab some popcorn), because soccer season is here once again! Get ready for thrills, drama, and maybe even a few surprises along the way. The game never stops evolving, just like our love for it. Let’s kick off another exciting chapter in the world of soccer!
AI Generated Post Over
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Looks like I still have a job…
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