Hello one and all favelazoneheads! I am sincerely sorry for my lengthy hiatus. I have been focused on writing a novella (no small feat). Writing a book is an extremely difficult undertaking (arguably the most difficult in all my life) and if I manage to get it published (fingers crossed) I will definitely be taking the time after to focus on music and Favela Zone (everybody clap your hands)! In other news I have been watching this ridiculous show on Max, formerly known as HBO Max (identity crisis). And it seems as if the streaming service is not the only one having confused thoughts about one’s role in life (I’m looking at you Abel “The Weeknd” Tesfaye). This show has descended into the depths of bizarreness (Dante’s Inferno). I actually don’t know what’s more impressive, The Weeknd’s singing voice or the fact that he managed to convince all of America that he is a sex symbol. This out of shape strange hair style rocking Canadian crooner has somehow summitted the Mount Everest of dating. When you have the likes of Bella Hadid (high cheekbone queen [but are they natural?]), Selena Gomez (pop princess of the past decade) and Angelina Jolie (wanna be queen of the damned) on your resume, there is no denying that you have done well in life. This is a head scratcher for me but I have wasted plenty of valuable time trying to figure out how women’s minds work so I am going to go ahead and not descend down that rabbit hole at this time. This show is as cringe as it is entertaining. The premise is basically the show ‘Entourage’ meets ‘American Horror Story’ starring a Britney Spears derivative who falls into the clutches of a manipulative club owner that masquerades as a talent manager and mooches off her for her nice house with his derelict friends. It is unique and not nearly as bad as the critics would have you believe (doing your own research does not just apply to investments). If anything, the pacing is slow and the cinematography dreary, but overall its a guilty pleasure of a story worth indulging in.
Speaking of hot messes, it seems Chelsea has taken a page out of Manchester United’s book in signing washed up talent in the hopes of magically creating a team that can compete for trophies. I’d actually argue their situation is more embarrassing because they have a stacked team of individuals with football heritage that somehow cannot play well together. They also Keylor Navas’d their number one goalkeeper Edouard Mendy (life just ain’t fair). This team is a far cry from the squad that won the 2021 Champions League. Either way I don’t exactly understand what caused the shambolic collapse given the insane depth of talent (deepest team talent wise in the league barring Manchester City) with the likes of Ben Chilwell, Reece James, Mason Mount (formerly) and Raheem Sterling in their side just to name a few. The baby blues and old dogs did not gel and as a result Todd “the boogeyman” Boehly has decided to cut his losses and clean house. Only time will tell if Raheem Sterling (hot headed Reggae Boy) and a crew of newbies can return Chelsea to former cash inspired glory, but for the next few seasons I wouldn’t count on it.
Ok, this is not the look. At All. This dude Benjamin Mendy has been out of the football world for the past two years due to his out of control partying gone dark (I doubt he watches ‘The Idol’ but their are likely similarities). It is a shame because he always seemed to be a fun personality and on his day a juggernaut of a left back for Manchester City. It would seem that he has gone off the rails (the Andrew Tate of football?) and this absurd claim would mean that since the age of 18 he would have had to have bedded three women per day for the past decade in order to reach this outrageous figure. I don’t believe that is possible and at this point who knows if he will ever make it back on to the pitch. Remember to party responsibly people!
The MLS will never be the same. The likes of Beckham and then Zlatan arriving were a big deal – but this is a whole other level. This is the GOAT (arguably…) but hands down best player of this generation (sorry Ronny). Miami is a vibe, best city in the mainland United States (I can claim it having lived their twice) and it is about to get even more poppin’ thanks to Argentina’s favored son’s (troll’s) arrival. The PSG contract is up (along with the boos from the crowd), and Messi now sets sail across the Atlantic to the southeast shores of the United States for his latest adventure in a new retirement league.
The summer is just beginning to heat up (could have sworn June had just started..) and the transfers thus far have been exciting, but they stand to get even more intriguing. Now that the Saudi Pro League is Chinese Super League 2.0 (Ronaldo domino effect) many players not even in their twilight years (Ruben Neves transferring from Wolves to Al-Hilal at the ripe old age of 26) are opting to ply their trade in the Middle East. Where Will Kylian Mbappe (teenage mutant ninja transfers) end up as PSG wisely refuses to lose him for free in 2024. Will Neymar (Brazilian party boy extraordinaire) return to Barcelona or take on a new league and challenge (hoping Prem League, am hearing Man U, but Chelsea seems more his brand)? I honestly don’t care either way as I just want him on my fantasy team. AC Milan seems to be on the up and up returning to glory and if they can secure the signing of Pulisic (but can he stay fit?) they will be well on their way to restoring the luster to their glorious namesake. I’m off to have a hot boy summer by celebrating July 4th in Boston (green tea shot party anyone?). Make the most of these summer months because all good things…seem to just fly by.
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